Grandparenting: A Divine Calling, According to Mark Gerson
Nurturing and Sustaining a Long-Life Grandparent-Grandchild Connection: Exploring the Keys to a Fulfilling Relationship
In a candid chat with Digital, author Mark Gerson explains why grandparents carry immense importance for the well-being of their families, and why Jewish parents bless their kids with specific guidance from the Bible each week.
Each Friday evening, Jewish households follow a centuries-old tradition, much anticipated throughout the week. They gather for Shabbat dinner, partaking in several ritual practices before indulging in the meal.
The woman of the house lights the Shabbat candles, signifying the commencement of the sacred day. The family welcomes the Sabbath with songs, and blesses God over wine and bread. They serenade a Jewish woman with a melodious hymn from Psalms 31. The peak of the celebration, however, comes when they bless their young ones. This sacred moment, filled with divine presence, is when parents lay their hands on their children (See the video at the top of this article).
*THE RENEWED FUSED OF YOUNG MEN TO RELIGION*
The blessing bestowed upon daughters is simple: "May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah." These are the matriarchs from the Book of Genesis, making the blessing easy to comprehend.
The blessing given to sons, though, is distinct.
We say: "May God make you like Ephraim and Menasseh."
A stranger might wonder: "Who?" Indeed, Ephraim and Menasseh are relatively unknown figures in the Torah, scarcely making an appearance. One might question why, instead of blessing their sons to resemble Abraham, Joseph, Moses, or King David, they are chosen as models for growth.
The blessing that Jewish boys receive on Friday night was given in the Torah – but not by a father. It was bestowed by a grandfather, Jacob, who is also known as Israel.
The celebration's peculiarity deepens: Why, during the most sacred moment of the week, do parents transmit a blessing from a grandfather to two obscure grandchildren?
The Bible sheds light on something profound regarding human flourishing.
"Unlike the name 'Jacob,' which is rooted in the past, 'Israel' is a name of becoming," says Gerson. This encapsulates the essence of grandparenthood." (Getty Images)
Ephraim and Menasseh are the sole characters in Genesis to have a relationship with a grandparent. When Jacob blesses them, the Torah refers to him not as Jacob, but Israel.
*GRANDPARENTS' SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON A MOM'S MENTAL HEALTH: 'WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE'*
What's the significance? Let's examine Exodus 1:1: "These are the names of the sons of Israel who are coming to Egypt. With Jacob - each man came with his household."
The text utilizes both names of our patriarch – Jacob and Israel – and adjusts the tense accordingly. Unlike the name "Jacob," which is rooted in the past, Israel signifies a future.
That's the heart of grandparenthood.
In Exodus, the Torah instructs us to teach "your children and your children's children." The Torah tradition abounds with tales of grandparents – not as silent, sweet, or candy-dispensing extras, but as educators, transmitters, and moral mentors.
Grandparenting, at its core, is a sacred responsibility.
"Grandparenting, at its best, is a sacred calling. Science verifies this," (Getty Images)
Among the millions of species on Earth, creatures from barely six live after childbearing age. Thus, grandparenthood is an exceedingly rare phenomenon. Why do humans survive so long after raising their own children?
In 1998, Professor Kristen Hawkes of the University of Utah uncovered the answer: the grandmother hypothesis. Active grandparents free up the middle generation, enabling them to produce additional offspring. Grandparents extend the human legacy.
Grandchildren connected to their grandparents are more secure, perform better academically, are less impulsive, and less anxious.
And everyone benefits.
Grandparents who remain involved, yet not full-time caregivers, live longer, think more clearly, and are happier.
The Berlin Aging Study, which began in 1990 and tracked aging participants for over three decades, found that grandparents who provided noncustodial care for their grandchildren had a 37% lower risk of dying over 20 years compared to those who were less involved.
The Bible reveals something profound about human flourishing. (Getty Images)
Grandchildren who are close to their grandparents are more secure, perform better academically, exhibit less impulsivity, aid in reducing anxiety, and foster the wisdom to appreciate the consequences of their actions.
What's the secret to a meaningful grandparent-grandchild bond?
A 2020 study from Hong Kong University found it: future consequence appreciation.
Grandparents who always reminisce about the 'good old days' might be tolerated.
However, a grandparent who takes interest in grandchild's ambitions, assists with homework, celebrates milestones, and imparts wisdom is cherished, admired, and revered.
Mark Gerson is the author of the forthcoming book "God Was Right" (June 2025). "Grandparenthood, lived with love and future orientation, is one of the most powerful gifts – for all three generations," he says. (Digital)
That's why Israel, not Jacob, bestows the blessing.
And that's why it's the one repeated every week.
God was right.
- The blessing given to Jewish sons on Friday night, as bestowed by a grandfather, Jacob, signifies a name of becoming, according to Mark Gerson.
- In the Torah, Ephraim and Menasseh are the only characters to have a relationship with a grandparent, with Jacob being referred to as Israel during this time.
- Science has found that grandparents who remain involved in their grandchildren's lives have numerous benefits, including longer lifespans, improved cognitive abilities, and emotional well-being for both the grandparents and grandchildren.
- The secret to a meaningful grandparent-grandchild bond, as revealed by a study from Hong Kong University, is the appreciation of future consequences, which involves taking interest in a grandchild's ambitions, assisting with schoolwork, celebrating milestones, and imparting wisdom.
