Household Worker Halts Domestic Duties After Years of Shouldering Most Responsibilities - "Feels More Like a Caring Partner Than an Equal"
In modern households, the division of labor remains a contentious issue, particularly in egalitarian marriages. A study by the University of Michigan has found that men create an extra seven hours of housework every week, yet this gap still persists despite the shared ideals of gender equality.
The issue came to a head when a woman decided to stop doing housework and running her own business, only to find her husband refusing to help with household responsibilities after she became a stay-at-home mom. The man cooks one meal a month and empties the dishwasher occasionally, leaving the woman feeling taken advantage of and comparing herself to a "sugarmama."
The woman's husband, in response to her actions, asked for a shopping list and ended up with six items, most of which were snacks for himself. This led to a disagreement, with the husband questioning the woman's motives and the woman expressing her feelings of being overlooked.
The first debacle occurred less than a day into her strike, with the house looking like a mess and the husband not lifting a finger to help clean it. When he came home to a kitchen overflowing with dirty dishes and trash, he went to take a nap.
The woman is responsible for appointments, maintenance, yardwork, cleaning, laundry, cooking, groceries, and planning of their lives. If the housework the average woman does were to be paid the fair market rates of all the housecleaners, nannies, chauffeurs, gardeners, etc., it would tally up to a nearly $200,000 salary.
Research indicates that even in egalitarian marriages, the division of household labor remains gendered, typically with women doing more housework and caregiving than men. For example, a 2021 study found that in dual-career couples, women spent on average 4.5 more hours per week on housework and caregiving than men.
Couples with aligned egalitarian gender ideologies report more equal sharing and greater happiness. However, women still bear a larger share of the unpaid domestic work, including caregiving and invisible tasks such as emotional labor and planning. This phenomenon is often referred to as the "third shift" and remains largely invisible but adds to women’s domestic workload.
The unequal division of labor can contribute to women experiencing greater time pressure, stress, and potential negative effects on their labor force participation and well-being. Economic studies suggest that in households with traditional gender norms, women, especially married women, may reduce paid work hours or withdraw from the labor market due to the increased home production demands.
In conclusion, egalitarian attitudes help but do not fully resolve gender disparities in domestic work or their impacts on women. According to Pew Research, women do more than twice the housework and nearly a third more childcare than men, even in egalitarian marriages. The residual burden on women can affect their time use, stress levels, and labor market engagement. It is crucial for both partners to acknowledge and address these imbalances to ensure a more equitable and harmonious home life.
- In the context of modern households, the division of labor, even in egalitarian marriages, remains a contentious issue, often favoring the man, despite shared ideals of gender equality.
- The woman's decision to stop doing housework and focus solely on her business raised questions about the husband's willingness to help with household responsibilities when she became a stay-at-home mom.
- The husband's unwillingness to share household tasks left the woman feeling taken advantage of, prompting comparisons to a "sugarmama."
- When the woman proposed a shopping list for essential household items, the husband purchased six items, primarily snacks for himself, escalating their disagreement.
- A study by the University of Michigan revealed that even in egalitarian marriages, women typically perform more housework and caregiving than men, a phenomenon known as the "third shift."
- Research indicates that this gendered division of household labor can negatively impact women's well-being and labor force participation, highlighting the need for both partners to recognize and address these imbalances for a more equitable and harmonious home life.
